Good "Goodbyes"

We have a rule in my family: we don't leave angry, and we don't leave without saying goodbye. Life is too short and too full of surprises, and one way to show each other we care is to commit to "good goodbyes."

I'm blessed to work in a place where people are also quite deliberate about showing each other they care and keeping relationships in good stead. It's not so explicit as at my house, but on our campus (at least in the two office areas I've worked in) we do seem to abide by an unwritten rule that if you leave before others, you say goodbye to your neighbors and those you pass on the way out. If you are the second-to-last person out the door, you detour down the hall to wish the remaining colleague a good evening and remind them not to stay too late.

For the most part, I've taken this for granted. But yesterday was different: as sometimes happens, I got so caught up in what I was doing that I lost track of time, and the next time I looked up, it was dark--not only outdoors, but also in the halls outside my door. I wondered if I was alone. Sure enough: a quick tour confirmed that everyone else had left.

I didn't go home moping, but it did get me thinking, and it's still on my mind a day later. This is the only time in 9 years at my college that I recall leaving for the day (or being left as the last one for the day) without saying goodbye to anyone before I went. The experience twinged me with an unsettled feeling. What would it be like to experience work each day without others going out of their way to say hellos and goodbyes? Would I feel disconnected? Would I believe anyone cared? That what I did mattered? That I mattered? And what if those possibilities weren't fictional imaginings, but were the realities of people around me? What if there are people on my campus--whether faculty, staff, or students--who experience this kind of disconnectedness on a regular basis?

It's easy to get overwhelmed imagining all the lonely people. But then I think of my high school band teacher, who stood at his classroom door every morning to greet each student by name as they arrived from the buses, and did the same each afternoon to send us on our way. Those hellos and goodbyes made a difference.

My prayer this week is that we'll have the eyes to see and the hearts to notice those around us who are feeling disconnected--and that we'll take the time to reach out to them, even in ways that may seem small.